Missing the Kids

Posted by Ange:

This is a thoughts and feelings post so if you are looking for facts, please wait for the next post.

We are really missing our kids now.  We didn't miss them this quick in Vienna but there we were having fun and here.... not so much.  Annie has figured out that we are gone.  She did pretty good the first few days.  Friday night she didn't sleep well and yesterday when she woke up from her nap she was very, very sad.  I cried to hear that she is struggling.  She is so young and needy.  She was with me every part of every day.  We had our own songs and jokes and stories.  I would hold Annie close at the end of the day and sing songs and pray and think.  Having her snuggled against me helped the world seem right.

Only a very compelling reason, life or death actually, would cause Doug and I to be so far away for so long.  Families are meant to be together, forever, so being apart feels wrong. Of course.

So I prayed and asked Heavenly Father that He would send comfort to the kids, especially Annie.  Let them know that even though we are still far away, we love them, and think about them, and are aware of them.  I don't want Annie to forget us while we're gone.  I want her to still know our voices and what we look like.  I asked Heavenly Father that the kids could feel our love through the love of the people who are taking care of them.  I asked my sister to give Annie a kiss for me.  I wish I could feel her soft cheek and smell the perpetual peanut butter in her hair.

And then the epiphany struck and I had to laugh at myself.  I'm sure Heavenly Father was smiling too.

He knows exactly how I feel.  He is doing the same thing.

We were with Him before this life and He held us close.  We had our own stories and songs and laughter with Him.  Only a very compelling reason, spiritual life and death actually, would cause Him to send us down here to earth.  Families are meant to be together, forever, so being apart feels wrong. Of course.

He wants to send us comfort.  Even though we are far away, He wants us to know that He loves us, and thinks about us, and is aware of what is happening.  He doesn't want us to forget Him while we are gone.  Heavenly Father wants us to know His voice still, and what He looks like and is.  He wants us to feel His love through the love of other people around us, who are helping to take care of us.  How His heart must ache as we struggle and are very, very sad.

He's been doing this for a long time, so I can do this for 3 weeks.  I guess we learn the strongest, most distinct lessons when we hurt the worst.  Wish there were an easier way, but I probably wouldn't learn the lessons as well or as deep.